Welcome to this week’s installment of The Geek Zodiac Horoscopes. If you’re not sure what your sign is, check here and search for your birth year. And be sure to check out all the other goings on at our official website here.
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ROBOT: In a valiant effort to reverse the tarnishing done to the good name of robots and computers worldwide by one HAL-9000, you’ve begun opening all doors everywhere, not just the pod bay ones.
WIZARD: You realize it’s even more lamentable because it was preventable, but the real reason so few people can do magic anymore is that their spelling and grammar has grown ever more atrocious. It’s doubly difficult to pull off feats of prestidigitation when you can’t write them out. Why do you think they’re called magical spells, anyway?
ALIEN: For all the good the Starfleet Academy has done for the universe as a whole, you’ll never fully be able to trust them since that time a Captain James Kirk tried to make out with your sister.
SUPERHERO: After years in the superhero racket, your age is finally starting to show. It now takes you several bounds to leap tall buildings, where before it only took you one.
UNDEAD/SLAYER: You’re all for true love and people finding their soul mates—after all, it’s very romantic. But it will always gnaw at you that nobody ever asked the Bride of Frankenstein if she actually wanted to be his bride, did they? Maybe all this time she really had eyes for the Mummy.
PIRATE: It went over like gangbusters with your crew when you changed the famous skull-and-crossbones of the Jolly Roger flag to the much jollier smiley-face-and-roses. Of course, you can’t shake the suspicion that they thought you were being ironic.
DAIKAIJU: Years after retiring from a storied career as an implacable B-movie villain, you’ve found a worthwhile post-retirement gig doing freelance motion-capture work for a popular series of video games.
TIME TRAVELER: Your fears as a cinephile are given life when you travel 50 years into the future and find that every single American film is either a lifeless remake or gritty reboot of something prior.
SPY: Substituting numbers for letters in the passcode for your safe house seemed like a genius idea at the time, but now that you need to access it you sort of wish you’d just used your mother’s maiden name and been done with it.
ASTRONAUT: You make a note to yourself: The next time you have to make use of an escape pod, you’re going to make darn sure it’s well stocked cheese puffs, soda and video games. One can only gaze out the window at the beauty of the stars for so long.
NINJA/SAMURAI: You’ve spent years perfecting your iaido technique of drawing and re-sheathing your sword. Unfortunately, you never spent any of that time actually practicing prolonged fighting with it, leaving you somewhat at a loss when challenged by your longtime rival.
TREASURE HUNTER: In public, you scoff at those would-be treasure hunters frequenting the Antique Roadshow program, while privately you don a disguise before engaging in roughly the same activity scouring neighborhood garage sales.
At long last, after weeks and months of planning, writing, drawing and other steps involved in the creative process, we couldn’t be happier to present the official Geek Zodiac website and the team of heroes known as The Continuum. Every Tuesday and Friday we’ll be providing new comics pages as we introduce the members of The Continuum, and in addition to this there will be new Geek Zodiac-themed horoscopes every Sunday. We’re building something special here and even though we’ve been at this for half the year already, we know that this is where everything starts.
Without the love, support and encouragement from all our family and friends, this undertaking would never have gotten this far. Thank you for helping us realize a dream. It’s going to be a blast.
We’re going live this week. (*gasp!*)
Keep your eye on the official Geek Zodiac site here as we begin rolling out free downloads, new horoscopes and weekly original comics based on the Geek Zodiac concept, the latter featuring the team of heroes known as The Continuum.
For real, for real.
I just sent Josh the first short script for the individual character introductions we’re doing for the members of The Continuum, the Geek Zodiac offshoot project we teased last month. Josh has been gathering gads of reference materials and sketching like a madman, and he’s been champing at the bit for a script from which to work. Now that he has one, I’m hard at work on the second, because once the ball starts rolling, there’ll be no turning back. In addition to this, Josh has been working on a series of one-page profiles, providing background information on The Continuum’s heroes, and these are all pretty far along, so we’ll be unveiling them sooner rather than later!
After the jump there’s some concept art for the scrapped designs Josh did for The Continuum team member, Fendritch the Wizard. He’s since undergone a major change—name, appearance, background—which we’re both much happier with, but this is just a means to show our work process. And progress.
The Geek Zodiac presents… THE CONTINUUM.
But just who—or what—exactly is The Continuum? Stay tuned to find out! This is where Josh and I have been planning on taking The Geek Zodiac more or less since its inception. This is merely a teaser but we’ll have more info and artwork on the horizon and we can’t wait to show everyone.
- July 8
- , 2011
First, I want to apologize for the lack of a set of Geek Zodiac horoscopes last week (Week 8). I was bogged down at work (and, I admit, A Game of Thrones) so I wasn’t able to get around to them. Second, I want to apologize for being a day late on this week’s set. If you can find it in your heart to forgive me, I hope you enjoy these!
ROBOT: Certain you’ve got it sewn up tight, you enter a local B-Boy competition. Unfortunately, and unbelievably, you place only third when the judges deem your “robot” move to be “too artificial.” 
WIZARD: Following your doctor’s advice, you make a serious go at vegetarianism, only to find that neither Whole Foods nor Trader Joe’s carries substitutes for eye of newt or wing of bat.
- June 25
- , 2011
The Geek Zodiac Horoscopes are here! Take a minute or two and enjoy!
ROBOT: You’d think, being part computer and all, that you could totally “pwn” some “noobs” in Call of Duty: Black Ops, but after getting your metal keister handed to you steadily throughout the night, it’s clear who the noob is. 
WIZARD: You show up prepared to demolish the competition at this year’s Spelling Bee, only to find that their definition of spelling is wildly different from the type you’re familiar with.
As our Geek Zodiac enters its third—and most intense, demanding, and challenging (and fun!)—phase, we’re hard at work transforming the 14 avatars who inhabit the 12 signs of the Geek Zodiac into individual characters.
ROBOT: An unwanted and, in your humble opinion, unnecessary update to your operating system means you’ll be spending the week relearning how to use your left arm. Again.
WIZARD: Over 30 years later, you’re still cashing checks from a deal you made with Miles Davis, allowing him name an album after one of your cauldron concoctions: Bitches Brew.
ALIEN: You’re clearly in the minority but that will never stop you from stating your preference for Mac N Me over E.T.
SUPERHERO: It’s been forever since you’ve had a second date. You can see through 6-inch steel, but you can’t see into the hearts of humanity. Well, literally you can, but not figuratively.
UNDEAD/SLAYER: The townsfolk’s knee-jerk reaction to flee upon your approach just means it’ll take much longer before you can find someone who’ll let you use their phone to call a tow truck.
PIRATE: Your peers in piracy may mock you for it, but you know that history will look favorably upon you for your unabashed support of wenches’ rights.
DAIKAIJU: You should have known better than to eat those Nobel Laureate scientists last week, no matter how upset you were. All that intellect, while delicious, will take weeks to digest.
TIME TRAVELER: It annoys you to no end when people moan and complain about jet-lag. What you wouldn’t give to have your biorhythms off by a few hours instead of a few centuries. 
SPY: You wonder how long it will take the mole in the organization to figure out that when you said the documents you gave him were “written in invisible ink,” that what you really meant was “I didn’t write anything, you turncoat.”
ASTRONAUT: Your fellow shipmate, who’s always been kind of a jerk, entrusts you with the document detailing his sincerest wishes in the event of his untimely demise: his ashes launched into space. It takes everything in your power not to change “ashes” to “ass.”
NINJA/SAMURAI: You can’t help but be grateful and accept when an old friend invites you to a tea ceremony. Of course you had to go and ruin it by asking of there was any decaffeinated green tea available.
TREASURE HUNTER: It figures: You spent the last two years cutting deals and calling in favors to acquire a legendary treasure map, only to find that Google Maps has already produced a superior version. And with a “street view” feature to boot!
After many weeks of design, redesign, tinkering and adjustments, the official Geek Zodiac store is now up via print-on-demand site, Zazzle: here.
For the time being we only have shirts and a poster available, and later we hope to add other items such as mugs and the like, as well as new poster designs. The T-shirts have four primary designs, which are as follows:
